I spent this past week in California and all I have to show for it is my new facebook account. Ok, so I got a little bit of a suntan, managed to read a few books and visited the ocean. It was a good week.
Jack had to go to LA California for a week of training on the AGFA machine for Walgreens. This is the big machine hanging out in the photo department that prints beautiful pictures - when it's not broken down. We have one such machine in Little Rock and Jack will now be responsible for it's care. There was actually a repair ticket on the machine waiting for him when we got home last night at midnight.
While Jack studied and learned about this fabulous machine, I hung out at the pool, read and played with our computer in our hotel room. On the two evenings when Jack was let out of class before dark, we headed to the ocean and enjoyed the water and the sunsets. I felt no draw to visit the sites in the area alone. Even Disneyland held no attraction for me - which is good, because we had no time.
I spent my days at the hotel - walking, dining alone, hanging out at the pool and in our room. And that is when it happened! A friend sent me a link to join facebook and I decided - why not - I have time to learn. I followed the link and was transported into a new cyber land of faces, details and photos of family and friends from my way distant past! I am now connected with a group of really dear people in my life, three of which are old friends from my Jr High years in Raton New Mexico! How cool is that!
California was also good for me in that I had lots of time to do some soul searching. I am struggling to understand where I am supposed to head next in the job market. My skills are in the corporate world, but my heart is somewhere else all together. The head says get a job; make money, work, work, work. The heart says I have been given this opportunity to follow my dreams - look around - explore. It was really important for me to look inside and find where the messages were coming from and what was motivating my actions.
It all came together last night at the Dallas - Fort Worth Airport- gate 4. We were waiting for our plane and chatting about the week and all that we both had learned. Larry King and guests were blaring overhead - talking about shooting wolves in Alaska and how to find a job in this wonderful job market. The guest said something that really resonated with me. I don't remember his words exactly, but what I heard was - chuck the old, do something fun, make a change! Follow the heart! He gave several examples of what others had done and then gave a list of the industries that were still hiring in this tough market. Jack and I were chatting about jobs and dreams and expectations at the same time... I shared my thoughts and fears and self imposed expectations. I was able to get really clear about what Jack was seeing, what I wanted and the boundaries I was creating for myself around working and contributing to our partnership of marriage. As we talked, I felt this weight being lifted off my shoulders and I could see that there was room and opportunity for me to branch out without fear of letting Jack or myself down. Our sharing opened me up to a place where I could give myself permission to explore without worry of the income or the skill requirements or limiting expectations - mine or Jack's.
Right now, I don't know what my future work life looks like. But, I am excited to start exploring and see where my intuition leads me. You can bet, first on my list will be several local garden centers! And I know my next job will definitely be green!
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