Children, goodbyes and new beginnings.

It seems every now and again these days; the magnitude of what Jack and I are doing hits me right between the eyes. Or, should I say – right in the eyes.

The absolute, hands down, hardest part of this whole move is saying goodbye and letting go of our children and the family and friends we love so dearly. (Leaving my gardens is another story). I remind myself it’s not really a goodbye so much as “see” you again in 4 months… or 8 months … or how ever long it will take before for Jack and I venture north again for the 14 hour drive. The reality is that the contacts, the hugs, the daily interactions with all the people we love will now be long distance.

I have moved 33 times in my life, the last 10 with my children. As a child, I didn’t know how to deal with the loss of my friends every time we picked up to move again. I was fortunate to have a large family so eventually; I quit making connections with people that didn’t move with us. I learned not to get close to protect myself. As an adult I had to learn that moving away didn’t mean losing the love.

I have lived in Eden Prairie now for 16 years – a third of my life! I found stability with Jack and we have spent the last 11 years of our life in the same home. There are also now, so many dear people in my life – I want to take them all with me! Fortunately, Jack and I are creating this new adventure together, but my children are staying in Minnesota.

Our two oldest sons currently live with us. It’s been difficult for me knowing that I am nudging them out of the safety of the home they know and forcing them to fly on their own. I know, they are grown adults and will do just fine. Matt, our youngest son, is moving into an apartment with a close friend. He is working for a temp agency and hopes to go full time soon with his current assignment. Chris is moving in with extended family for a short time while he regroups and works at finding a better job or more hours with his current employer. His biggest task will be to find a home of his own where he can be happy. Brittany is living up in Moorhead – fighting her own battles of managing school, work and health… I am learning that I no longer have a say in the outcome of their lives and have to trust that God is guiding them for their highest good. Talk about a letting go lesson!!!

As the last days of our life here in Minnesota quickly fly by, over and over again I experience the love of friends and letting go lessons. I am reminded with every encounter how much I am loved and how much I love in return. I am excited about our move, but being the emotional person that I am these last days are filled with lots of mixed emotions and tears. And I smile cuz I know our new house will have a beautiful guest bedroom and the freeway runs both directions!!!